CHASING THE MOLD

Growing up we all go through stages of self development where we make choices that we believe will help give us a desired result. The results helps us discover who we are as individuals and identifies our  motivations, this basic tactic is our way of figuring out what we like and what we would rather never expierience again. This basic tactic is more miss than hit in our adolescents but with wisdom gained with age we hopefully fine tune the system. Sometimes when we feel someone we admire has achieved what we desire we place them in high regard and place them on a pedestal as though they are the type of person we most want to be like. This so called desired mold we believe will lead us to the standard of happiness that we crave, but at what cost?, Are we willing to sacrifice our own individuality in the pursuit of happiness?. Chasing to fit the mold seems that your expectations are solely based on your chosen idol as to boldly claim that their life is the ultimate result, but the grass isn't always greener when you've become your idol. You should perfect yourself not mirror someone else's shadow.  Being grounded in your own lifestyle is much more real and satisfying then losing yourself in someone else's.

I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM

People who get asked over and over again Are you okay ?  start looking for a problem even when there is no problem the more persistent you probing questions are. Some people rely on the sympathy of others to prosper, so the quickest way of getting the attention they want is by faking a problem that they dont have. When craving attention at the detriment of your own merit you start to sacrifice too much for too little and the good feeling you get from the carer is fleeting. We all like to feel loved and needed, but sometimes when your not getting the attention you crave you might find yourself going through extremes just to get the attention that you feel that your lacking. If you have to manipulate the right attention out of someone maybe it's the wrong someone. A person who genuinely cares for you doesn't need to be played because they are there for you through thick and thin. So maybe revaluate who you are wanting to get the attention from and stop playing games with the wrong players. 

THATS JUST A PART OF ME

Everyday we interact with people on different social levels, but only few of the people we interact with truly know who we really are. It takes time to get to know someone properly and giving up on your free time to socialise with someone you dont really know is a risk that people dont always want to take. Sacrificing time seems to be a big ask in these modern times when your time is competing with social media. Social media shows people a snapshot of what was taken to project the ideal image that we would like people to see when they think of us, but we are so much more than our names and profile pictures. Very few people want their peers to know that they are not perfect and that they have flaws. The reality is everyone has flaws but that doesn't mean you are not perfect in someones else's eyes flaws and all. Hiding who you are will only disadvantage you in the long run. The people who get to know your false bravado admire you for the charade your showing which can only last so long as you maintain the show. You are only human and as a human being we have  many faces that are attached to many different types of moods that aren't always good or right ways to be but burying your emotions deep inside is only going to take you quicker to depression. We are a whole lot more than perfect human beings that's what makes us unique. Accepting your true identity is about accepting you for everything you are that includes your likes, your dislikes, what motivates you, what you stand for whatever you bring to the table even your baggage and everything in between. Showing people just a part of you is a dishonour to yourself. So be honest to yourself and honour yourself, you are what you are.

OPEN TO CIRCUMSTANCES

It's fair to say that people are not our personal pupets so we can not expect them to do whatever we want, but by the same token some people like to blame their failings on the people who have forced them to make a decision when they weren't ready to make up their mind. You may be able deny your actions by blaming others for the pressure that they put on you, but you should acknowledge that you alone have the power to influence how your day will go based on how intune you are with your own personal problem solving skills. Language and your attitude are such a powerful tool that can influence the choices you have and will lead you to open circumstances.  if you ignore the parameters of your decisions and don't learn to be tactful you might find yourself in a not ideal situation. You are solely responsible on how you react to peoples attempt to manipulate your direction, nobody has the power to get you to do what you have already made up your mind not to do. We are a product of our circumstances, and it is our choices that have lead us to those circumstances so increasing your interaction with people who you don't see eye to eye with you will increase your chances of conflict of beliefs that will lead you to discomfort, the more you you'll find yourself shaking your head with disbelief. The proof that the power to influence your life for the better is in your hands is that if you did the opposite of every decision that you've ever made in your past your more likely to be in a worse state of mind than you currently are because you have gone against what your core beliefs craves which will lead to being unsatisfied. So satisy yourself by being true to your core beliefs. You are what you believe so be you.

THATS MY BELIEF

My beliefs are my personal beliefs, we may share similar beliefs on certain topics but that doesn't mean that we have to agree on everything. We may all believe that we have good reasons to think the way we think that justifys our thought process so anyone who tries to convince us on how we should see things has a challenging task ahead of them. People who feel content in their own perspective of belief system dont usually have the desire to try and understand the reasoning behind someone else's beliefs. We are governed by our own belief system so we should understand that our motivations vary from each other, and trying to find common ground is a goal that will not always beable to be reached. All that is left is to agree to disagree, and accept that we are different and that we need to work with each other in harmony to the best that we are capable of. We like to blame the world for what we see is considered is the wrong way to approach things but the world follows trends and who is to blame for where the trends are going?, only the people who choose to follow the trends. The worlds focus is on the majorities opinions and if it was on the minorities than more people will be displeased. It is impossible to keep everyone happy because pleasing one group of people displeases another group. The reality is  the communitys best interests takes president over an individual desires. We live in a world where we are afraid to say "That is wrong" "Infact that's stupid" because the only thing that is considered wrong these days is to say that "Someone else thought process is delusional" because it will trigger them and offend them. How you feel doesn't change the facts of a situation so base your beliefs on truth that is backed up by facts whether or not you agree or disagree it is still the universal truth that will stand the test of time. People will follow your beliefs if they agree they will not agree to follow you by force, so don't push your beliefs on anyone. If you don't see eye to eye then you can agree to disagree like you would in a normal conversation that you would have between two adults or you can jump up and down like a two year old having a tantrum and see where it gets you. Grow up and show the respect that you crave for yourself and remember its not always about the individual.

LISTEN TO ME WHILE I PERSUADE YOU

When drama strikes a lot of people like to play the blame game claiming that they are victims of manipulation. They believe that they are innocent of blame because their only mistake was giving trust to someone who has misguided them with deceitful acts of betrayal. The naive victim who will unknowingly react in any way that the manipulative culprit desires feels that they would of made different choices if they were told the truth from the start. People might have the power to say what ever they want but they do not have the power to force your hand. You may be forced to listen to the nonsense but the choice is yours to make, do your research and trust your gut. Some people don't try looking to deep into things to understand the motivations of people they socialise with then act surprised by the actions of those who have betrayed them as if they couldn't of seen the trouble coming. Manipulation comes in many forms whether your shown information to sway you or shown less information to deny your knowledge of the topic, either way what ever the reason for the manipulation we must learn from our experiences so that the next person that tries to manipulate us hits a wall that they can not impact our lifestyle for the negative. Relationships are built by gaining trust that you gather through time and shared experiences with a person which helps us better understand what type of person we a dealing with and what type of character he or she has. Knowing what interests a friend helps focus your conversation so that you know what they would rather talk about and what they would rather ignore, this is not manipulation of a friend its about sharing common interests and simply having a good conversation. A good friend will tell you about a sale on clothes because they know fashion is your thing they will not talk to you about a sale in technology products because it will go in one ear and out the other if it is not what interest them. Persuasive technology uses algorithms to record how you react to what's in front of you and then knows what to recommend. Most people are aware the phone hears the conversation your having and then you find it pop on Facebooks notifications. So maybe you should be one step ahead and have a conversation with someone about something that you are struggling to find and let Facebook be your lap-dog by getting it to search for the things you have exhausted yourself trying to find. Don't be manipulated by technology or by people if technology is showing a sale on pants and you have no need to add to your already large collection then don't bother if someone is talking to you about something that interests you but not them then ask yourself what are their motives. You should beable to fight the overpowering desire to give in to the persuasion if you see the logic in not really needing the item, if you are any kind of holic you need to conquer the addiction and set a limit. You need to be tougher than your weaknesses, you need to control the part of your brain that tries to convince you to do the things your rational mind won't agree with. Mostly you need to put yourself in a good frame of mind ready to take on lifes challenges

IM FINE

In the past mental health was a topic that people were afraid to talk about, until we were able to move forward in our thinking by evolving into a more accepting society that recognises mental health problems as a normal part of life. Once we accepted mental health was a normal topic that should be discussed openly people finally had an outlet to work on their mental issues and society was moving forward again in being more accepting of peoples challenging circumstances. With the help of professionals and loved ones people now had a better chance of figuring out what they needed to do to get themselves back on track and in control of their own life again. Now times have changed and what would normally be considered a mental issue is now just a different point of view. We have crossed the line where insane and sane are the same which shows when you see that anything now goes whether or not it might not make sense, it makes sense to those who believe in the nonsense. It looks like psychiatrist are no longer needed in this new world of ours because all it takes is you to keep your eyes open and it wont be long before you see what was an act to be concerned with is now just another day in la la land. Now we are told that if thinking a certain way makes them happy then we should not interfere with their happiness and let them believe in the fantasy they've created because it is their life and they can choose how they want to live it. This logic may seem like it makes a good point because if their not hurting anyone then let them be, this point would be true if we were alone in the world and we didn't interact with one another but we are part of a functioning society that relys on a stable reality and we need to beable to work with one another otherwise someones fantasy will affect a functional societies reality. Those of us who don't want to support the community are not forced to live in the community so do as you want with yourself but dont expect the rest of society to follow your lead to lunacy land. 

THATS NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT

As adults it's hard for us to remember what it felt like when we were kids growing up in a world that we didn't understand. Every new experience we faced we found ourselves struggling with what is the wrong way and what is the right way to do things because we were all ill-prepared. Now grown up and being responsible for my own kids well being the answer seems simple, the right thing is to get my kids to be better prepared so that they can cope with their own conflicting dilemmas all that is required is more of what I felt I was without. More advice, more support and more of whatever they are feeling that they are missing in their life should mean that they will be all loaded up with the right tools to face their struggles head on. Believing that getting more of what they are lacking will be enough to better prepare them for the real world seems logical but its the challenges that you face alone that makes you a stronger person and by doing more for them you remove the challenges that would of transformed them into capable adults. The real world isnt forgiving to the mistakes you repeatedly make and can make you feel that you are alone in your struggles, being assisted in every challenge forces them to face no challenges that would of helped build their perseverance up,  over helping will only create kids who believe they are entitled to have more and thus far has created less resilient kid's who will give up even before they try. So reward kids for good behaviour only, otherwise you will condition them to think that they still deserve a reward even when their not.

LIKE WHAT I LIKE

What interests some of us doesn't always interest all of us, individual to individual what keeps our attention and directs our focus can vary hugely. Some of us crave the outdoors and the adventures that come with exploring our surroundings while others are content with a smaller scale of expieriences that keeps them secure so that they can remain in what they consider is a familiar safe haven? What we know for sure is what is right for ourselves we presume will feel right for those we share time with and of those of who we try hard to convince that they should follow our lead even though what is essential for ourselves isn't always ideal for others. Some us only need the simple necessities in life while others need a grander scale of possessions to feel that they are on a successful path. The more you expect in life the more you feel pressure to pursue and conquer your expectations, if you fail in reaching your required goals you start feeling like a failure even though you might have a lot more than the people that you surround yourself with. So like what you like but don't expect others to follow your lead and share your likes. We are individuals and we can not be beaten.

I TO CAN DO WHAT YOU DO

Practice what you preach rings true when you see that some people don't accept that the truth that they a pedalling is a hypocrisy. The more they winge in life the less people take them seriously, so be factual not emotional when stating your case. When confrontations arise they all like to think that they are the victims of unpleasant circumstances rather than their life choices have brought them their own suffering and their medicine is karma. Lifes repetitive altercations we experience conditions us to choose the path of avoidance where confrontation is at a bare minimum. We believe the better path for us is stepping aside to let others take away whatever they please. Our desire not to offend others leads our thoughts into prioritising their needs over our own all to keep the peace. The more we do this and ignore how this affects our own state of mind the more we get further away from our true self. The moment in life when you choose to priorities your own happiness is much more important than keeping the peace is an the moment you will feel free to think whatever your heart desires. Taking a stand for what you believe in is an important step for you to balance your life and realise what's good for the goose should also be good for the gander, so why shouldn't you stand up if others have never hesitated to.