IT WORKS FOR ME

The common mistake that people make when they are trying to advise someone about changing their lifestyle is that they are purely focused on what has worked for them rather than thinking about what would be beneficial for the other person. They believe that if someone took their advice and followed it to the letter that they too would be as happy as  they are, even though what may feel like a sure thing to them might not even be a consideration in the eyes of the listener. The wrong advice has the influence to dampen someone's else's interests even though it is unintentional. We all vary in our interests and believing that the formula to happiness is based on what one person's success will only end up in making a carbon copy of that person giving the advice. Those who stray from their own pathway of interests will only get lost in the end and be left questioning why they went against what felt so right. Advice needs to lead to a pathway that the person requiring the advice wants to reach but is struggling to see, not as a new goal furrher away from their personal interests of the one listening. So maybe the best advice is to not give advice so that people can work themselves out without someone steering them away from what matters most to them.

ADVANTAGE ME

The opportunist of the world like to take advantage of people's placid nature because they believe that their chosen victim is too relaxed to speak up and take a stand. Their line of thought is that if you arent going to speak up and stand up for yourself then no harm no foul. The voluntary victims can feel conflicted when they catch on to game that they are forced to play and are in two minds whether they should highlight that they are no fool to the opportunist strategies, or whether they should just play along ignoring the pitfalls that they may have to face all in the name of keeping the peace. Keeping the peace may seem to be the easier pathway to choose but at what cost is it having on you when you are knowingly choosing to ignore the attempts of the opportunist who is constantly chipping away at your integrity without any disregard on how it may impact on your well-being. Why do you put his or her needs above our own when we know that their selfish ways will eventually victimise us. We as a people can not reach a true heightened level of happiness if we are going against what our common sense is trying to tell us. It is our common sense that will guide us through the mess that bad decisions have lead us to. So more following your head because your head has your heart in mind whereas your heart only has what feels good at the time, which will only lead you to scratching your head wondering how did you get here.

NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM

Throughout our life we strive for more because we believe that once we have more of whatever we desire that we would reach our utopian lifestyle. We believe our life will improve if we put all our time in focusing only on the steps that will get us closer to the things we dream of. Whether its fame fortune  or anything in between we believe that the sooner we reach our goals the sooner we will reach our highest level of happiness. Your attempt to reach your goals shouldn't come at the cost of your values. Sometimes when you live your life with your head in the clouds you can lose sight of what you currently have. Living your life in fast forward may feel like the right thing to do because you won't get distracted by the things that arent on your check list but the journey is as, or even is more important than, your destination. So enjoy the ride because it is lifes struggles that help strengthen us to toughen up so that we can handle our next challenge. Remembering your roots will keep you grounded loyal to the person that you once were before you let lifes struggles taint your views. It is our past that connects us to our future, to deny the person that you once were is denying an important part of your true identity. Choosing to step on anyone just to reach your goals will be a dishonour to the innocence you once had and will only lead you to live a lonely lifestyle. If your younger self met the person that you've grown up to be would they be proud of that person or ashamed of how got there. You should respect that it was your past self that got you through the hard times triumphantly  so that you could take one step closer to your  preferred future.

SHAMED NOT TO REPEAT

Shame can be a great preventative because it can be the barrier that reminds us of who we are and where our line is. The rules we live by and stand by are put in place so that we don't compromise our preferred set values. Your line is defined by your moral compass so if you adjust your base line just to benefit your own selfish needs then you will find it harder and harder to grasp onto the person that you are striving to be. It is immediately after you have gone through a shameful experience that your toughest lessons are learnt. The bad feelings that remain with you lingers on to remind you that the bad choices you make will lead you to bad experiences. So all you need to do is to stay consistent with your values and remember no matter the outcome you have stayed true to your preferred self without the sacrifice of your dignity. If you are going through a tough period in our life where you are feeling hopelessness you can have solace in the knowledge that you have stayed true to your self and not given in to the corrupt path just because its easier. It is through the difficulties of your life experiences that strengthens your soul so if you get knocked down remember to say out loud "Is that all you've got because i have more". So strive to be the better you that you can be and let you shame remind you of where your moral compass starts and ends because we all have to have to draw a line in the sand some time or another. 

LOYALTIES ON LOW

Loyalty seems to be on the decline, its no longer the standard trait that comes with having any kind of relationship. Now there are certain evolving provisos in any relationship where what used to be a simple show of mutual respect to one another has now changed in favour for those whose voice is louder than their peers. Those that are in the lime light who proudly voice their longings out loud crave more than what is on offer from their peers and dont put in a second thought into letting anyone know their requirements. What used to be considered a reciprocal understanding between those who have built up a bond through shared experiences is now irrelevant because the world now looks after the ones who have the louder voice whether its fair or not. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" seems to be the alot of people's motto whch is a lesson in life that was learnt when they noticed through trial and error that their woes were met with positive  reinforcement when they spoke up.  Loyalty is a character trait that defines what type of person you are, those who are unable to show loyalty to anyone but themselves are conditioned by those who will go out of their way to please the complainer. So the only person at fault is the person who reinforces their bad behaviour. If we want people to behave rightly we must show them that they need to be loyal to positive values otherwise their negative ways will result in digging them deeper into their own misfortune. People will be loyal to those that are loyal to them, so if you wonder why people are treating you like a push over maybe its because you let them.

UNDER THE RUG

Throughout our life we are faced with various challenges that can either have a positive or a negative impact not only on our own life but on the life of those in our social circle. This is why it is is important that when we make choices that are life changing that we take full responsibility for our actions and not play the blame game when put on spot. When we are faced with a dilemma our actions either lead us to face them head on or do the opposite and ignore the red flags that are infront of us, either way our choices will always remain with us till the end. When you consciously choose to ignore the signs that your intuition is trying to highlight then all that will follow is regret. All we have is the power of truth to stand by and build up on if we are to ever feel good about ourselves because truth is the person we claim to be and the alternative is brushing our problems underneath the rug while pretending to be a saint while sinning in disguise. Eventually you will trip up over the bulge of lies that are as contradictory as your alter ego represents and be caught out in the karma that is coming. So if your beliefs contradict your actions then maybe look at yourself and ask yourself do you really believe in what you're saying or are you just to weak to admit that you are no saint. Either way you will be much happier if admitted that you are a narcissistic person than denying your selfish ways. 

DO YOU REMEMBER?

We are our memories, it is our memories that we refer back to when we are trying to learn from our previous experiences. It is our lifes bookmarks that steers the direction of our path and can explain why we do the things that we do. What we choose to remember can highlight our priorities whether its consciously or subconsciously our brain chooses what it wants to retain. Negative experiences linger longer in the brain than positive experiences this could be because our built in primary instincts are to protect ourselves from harm by doing what ever we can to survive. Without our past being referenced we are more likely to repeat the same mistakes that we made in our past this is why it is important to reflect back on to the various stages in our life where we have felt powerful emotions that either have made us promise to try to feel the good that we did on a good day or never to repeat the mistakes that we made on that horrible day again. It is normal to want the best life experiences you can have but it sometimes necessary to hold onto the memories that prevent you making the same mistakes. If you wipe your memories clean of the past you will also lose the you that was smart enough to dig yourself out of the trenches by getting your life back on track. So choose your life plan carefully and don't blame others for your bad choices because it is your responsibility alone to learn from your past so that your past mistakes wont live in your future.

SHALLOW MIND

Most people choose to only see the good qualities in others while that may at first glance seem to be an admirable quality to have, choosing to ignore the bad qualities is a show of weakness. We do not have the luxury to pick and choose what we consider a good quality in persons character so we choose to highlight it and ignore the less desirable qualities in someone by playing dumb never to admit that we have noticed the flaws from the get go. When you choose to give your support you must accept people for who they are, even if that means accepting their flaws. Denying their dark side because it doesn't sit well with your morality means you are denying your own morals because if you dont believe that they are a good person but you are still standing by them it says more about how you've chosen to compromise your own personal values, so then maybe the real problem goes further than them and its all about you. Maybe you are not the person that you think you are because we all have our own flaws but only few of us accept them as a part of who we are, accepting the truth will mean you don't need to hide behind ridiculous excuses which always end up with you getting yourself caught in a lie. The idea that once you accept the truth and confront someone for their manipulative ways it might mean that the repercussions may affect your so called perfect relationship with them but at least its not going to hurt twice as much when you've invested so much more of your time in them. A lot of people would rather choose the easier path where you restrict yourself in looking too deep into someone's else's character for where it might lead you, but they are even more afraid of self analysis because it's hard to keep on smiling if you find out that you are not a nice person underneath all your broken promises. So keep your moral compass aligned with your actions and stand proud that you have stuck by your word because without our word we are lost.

DESIRED ISOLATION

Choosing to self isolate for most of your free time can show people that you don't want them to be an important part in your life. Separating yourself from the ones who love you can be considered a selfish act to those who just want to spend some meaningful time with you. Distancing yourself may give you some peace of mind to focus on yourself but eventually the distance you put between yourself and those who care about you will only expand, making it even harder to connect with them when you are finally have a chance to. Everyone has their own unique threshold once their limit has been reached it is nearly impossible to regain their trust. We all may be restricted by time restraints but that is what makes the time so special that we choose to spend with others. When you choose to use your little free time to reconnect with the people you care about they feel respected and will find it alot easier to do the same for you. You cannot expect people to go out of their way to do something for you if you have no intention to do the same for them. They say that love is unconditional but there are always conditions otherwise its a one side love affair. We may not expect others to move mountains for us but showing them a little respect goes a long way. So have your free time when you need it but be aware that happiness is magnified when you share your life with the ones you care about. 

LEAD BY EXAMPLE

Leading by example may sound simple enough, but unless you practice what you preach you'll find out that the respect your expecting from your peers will never come. People will only follow your lead if they feel that the rules that you have put in place are for everyone equally to abide by and not just there when it suits your preferred situation. Respect will not sit well with those you surround yourself with if you've chosen the mentality "do as i say not as i do" because this will have your peers half heartedly supporting  your flawed rules rather than following them because they just makes sense. When you show them that your rules dont apply to you then your lack of devotion to what should be set in stone crumbles with any influence that you might have over your peers. The power to motivate only works if you see yourself on the same level as those that you are in charge of. If your actions lack consistency then don't be surprised that confusion sets in and your influence degrades. Rules are put in place to keep the foundations from collapsing, rules dont bend just to suit your scenario, if it's wrong for me then it's wrong for you. You can not be both a friend and foe at the same time to the same person because bending the rules to shield your friends transforms you into a foe to the misfortunate who are without your selected leanancy. So more leading to whats right and less choosing whats right for now and you will notice that their will be less confusing moments that you can not justify when your questioned by your peers.