ARE YOU A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER?

We all like to think that we are a good judge of character, but in hindsight how many of us regret past decisions with past encounters. It is our past that shapes us into who we are, if we deny the honest mistakes that we've made in our past how can we appreciate the challenges that we've struggled through and overcame. It may have been our bad choices that have brought us down to our lowest state of mind but it was our courage to persevere that pulled us out of depth of depression and helped build up our resilience to handle any situation mad or not. Life without pain without any push back of difficult situations creates an ill prepared mind that will crumble when challenged. So closing your heart and your mind doesn't make you safer from hurt it makes you less resilient when the shit hits the fan. Stronger minds are open to the world all of it good and bad. Iife is not about surviving with an easier path choosing to focus only on the good and ignore the bad , life is about opening up and growing up being vulnerable to the world is how you feel the world. We are more than ourselves we are part of a community that's why when we feel the pain of those who are suffering we try to do what we can to alleviate their pain. Happy you happy me and remember stop helping those who only think of themselves otherwise you will be dragged in their misery. 

ALL IN THE SAME BOAT, BUT DIFFERENT

We all like to think that because we are all in the same boat that the odds are more likely that we will all share similar outcomes, but this is only true if we were all seen with the same torch in the same light. It is a part of human nature that we may click with some people easier than others, some of us no matter how hard you try interacting with them it feels like a grind match to even be in the same room. It is also human nature that we shield the ones we care about by any means possible, the better connection we have with them the more likely that we will position ourselves in danger in order to take the brunt of impact. Our relationships are tied to the roles that we have with one another, these roles once appointed are fused by the loyalties of friendship of which the bond becomes stronger in time with shared experiences. No matter the amount of disappointing circumstances that may arise to dishonour the so called honest bond you have with your companion going against your devoted companion can make you feel like another failure to add to your already bad decisions from your past. So stick with them even if it means you have to modify your core beliefs or maybe they will just become the person that they claim to be in time. Questioning the roles given would cast a negative view on the captain of the ship which is heresy. So know your role and learn to ignore the obvious underlying rule that you can ride safe passage for now but only for now because when anything goes pear shaped its because of your overpowering influence on your peers.

I CAN HEAR YOU, BUT IM NOT LISTENING

Throughout the day we converse with our peers in the hope that what we are saying to them is listened to and considered with an open mind. Whether the point or points we are making are connecting or not the lending of their ear with an open mind is enough to show us that they have been respectful during the discourse. Without showing mutual respect for one another the conversation is dead and can not be revived because a lack of respect for the party that you are trying to converse with will only make it harder for you in the end to be able to take in any of what they are trying to say,  good points or not. The key is to shut out the emotional side of you that steers you to a resentment towards the person and blocks your ability to listen to the points that they are trying to make. A bad person can still make a good point the moment you can look past your resentment for the person, will be the moment that you can grow from a lesson that was learned and not ignored all because of who was teaching the lesson. We are surrounded by peers that can teach us a thing or two about another perspective alternative to our own so dont let your arrogance only give them half of your time when you could be better off with their point of view.

BROKEN PHILOSOPHY

The further we distance ourselves from our true self the part of us that always stays true to our wants and needs no matter of the consequences, the quicker we lose our true potential value. It is within our capabilities to use our desires to reach our true potential but if we keep on changing our philosophy to suit the consensus so do we begin to lose our ourselves in the crowd of pressured acceptance. Choosing to break your philosophy will only take you away from your imbededed goals and lead you to a path that will never satisfy your true self. It is in our misdirected values that our passion to perform loses its spark and the motivation to support our actions becomes compromised with little to no impact on the world. Our effectiveness to perform is magnified when we are on the right path and happy. Life is about not letting the uncomfortable situations stop you from reaching your true happiness that comes when you have finally reached your desired goals, this can only be reached by being the best version of yourself that you can be. Its not about following a crowd that you don't agree with just for a smoother ride. So are you merely existing in a crowd that you dont want to be a part of or are you living to strive for the lifestyle you crave?. The choice is yours and so is the outcome. 

SCRAP AND START AGAIN

Times seem to be going in a direction that no one could of ever predicted. What used to be considered simple is now confusing for the most of us who have regarded the lessons in our classroom as factual. When we had a hypothesis in science or psychology we would do an experiment to test our claims which  provided us with proof that our claims were either true or proven to be false. We now have been informed that what we've grown up to know as factual is all wrong and is based on an archaic way of thinking by those who need to justify their own version of the truth. Nuanced thinkers acknowledge that a person has multiple characteristics that can not be easily characterised and should not be placed in the same box as others even though they may share many similarities. Our differences of opinions put us at loggerheads with each other more than ever before arguing about how science is wrong and psychology is more about a persons own perception of themselves rather than the universal truth that keeps them grounded in a shared reality that we are all apart of no matter how unique we think we are. Their truth is more important than what the majority may see as true and their views dont have to be connected to the universal truth because their personal truth is much more satisfying than the unpleasant truths that go against what they themselves consider logical, so its easier and better to push away anyone or anything that may take away your false confidence rather than facing the universal truth by accepting the philosophy it is what it is, so embracing the truth will set you free and you won't need to wonder why you are getting angry all the time. Your life your freedom of choice, but don't you go sacrificing my freedoms because your freedoms shouldn't come at the expense of mine.

CHILD TO ADULT

Our past self is but an echo of who we use to be sometimes unrecognisable to who we've now grown up to become. Would our younger self approve of the changes that you've made on their behalf and be proud to recognise that they were the first step that guided us to become the person that we are today or will they feel ashamed that we've changed so much from the person that they were hoping to become. Growing up we all have hopes and dreams that are lost when we are forced face the world with a sense of maturity that pushes us to hold onto whats real rather than a childhood fantasy that can be too risky to pursue. Our choices are weighed and decisions are made for what we believe is the betterment of our desired lifestyle, but is it better to choose the odds that are in your favour and let go of your childhood dreams? or deny what is real now to chase the dreams that might lead you to a utopian lifestyle?. Most people before making any life changing decisions weigh the impact it has on them to determine what is the mature decision whether its to pursue or to let go. We may believe that if we had the chance to turn the clock back we would choose a different path but the truth is the decisions that we made were made with a clear conscience. So don't be hard on yourself because your younger version will grow to understand the choices that you've made were the right choices for the both of you.

ONE INTEREST, ONE FOCUS

We are  continuously exploring ourselves trying to work out what our priorities are by focusing on what interests us the most. Interests can come and go as quickly as we discover them but only a few will stick with us. Some of us are lucky enough that we have multiple interests which enables us to choose our options of interests and spread them out throughout our day never to be bored. On the opposite scale there are others who are captivated only by a few options of interests and prefer to keep things simpler with less interests to focus on. These individuals have more time to perfect their interests with less distractions to interrupt them from what they are currently focusing on. Is life more rewarding if you enjoy more things? Or Is life better if you focused on less allowing you to take in everything about your chosen interests and be one with your interest. Those who only focus on one thing become masters in their chosen field but at what cost?. Is the depth of your character measured by the amount of your interests youve claimed to have? Or Is your choice to focus on one interests a good representation that you are committed to your chosen interests?. Whatever you choose to focus on as long as it adds to your happiness there is no need to find an excuse for it because we are our interests and we should be proud of the things that we choose to spend our free time doing.

TO BE OR NOT BE CLOSE FRIENDS

Whether you're an acquaintance, friend or close friend what does it take to climb the ladder of friendship so that others will be able to call you a close friend? Some might say time and shared experiences is the answer to build up enough rapport to be able to call someone a close friend and as logical as that may sound the true answer is its really about boundaries. You could share a lifetime of experiences with someone but if they place boundaries on what is a permitable topic of conversation that can be discussed this might not align with what your preferences of conversation are. Restrictions to conversation will take away any lingering topics on your mind and push them away out of bounds to be ignored because it isnt a desirable topic of conversation for your so called close friend. Some people will meet someone for the first time and feel instantly comfortable enough to talk about anything with no set boundaries to taint the direction of the conversation. This type of connection can surpass any limited long term relationship in a vast quicker time frame. Close friends are their to support you by giving you their ear and their advice without restrictions of boundaries getting in the way of a deep and meaningful conversation. Close friends don't want to let you down because they believe in treating you with the same respect you treat them. So you may easily call someone your close friend but when you try to initiate a sensitive conversation will they stop you in your tracks and give you their ear?

CANT WE ALL JUST GET ALONG

Most people get along with most types of people quite easily with the help of their  social skills. Whether you chatting to someone about common interests or your intrigued by topics that you know nothing about, the drive to be social comes with many rewards. We as people a sociable creatures most of what we do we like to do with others, whether its because sharing our experiences with others heightens our own personal experiences or its just purely for the reason to get to know someone on a more personal level we are driven to socialise. Life without friends or family time can feel a little pointless because acquaintances can only get your social meter so far and you cant expect any acquaintance to go out of their way to accommodate for any of your unfair requests. Life truly feels more fulfilling when you share your experiences with your friends and family who will back you up when you  need it and help you when you are struggling with the pot holes of life because of the long term emotional connection you'll always have their support when you feel sad and lost. So socialise and be happy in knowing that an independent person may be strong alone but a group full of friends and family will always conquer.

SAME SAME, BUT DIFFERENT

We are all creatures of habit and because of this we can easily overlook the things that we are constantly complaining about that can also be found in our own set routines. This is mostly a problem for those who spend most of their time looking outwards and never in. It is even harder for those who are bitter and full of resentment to connect the dots between their personal frustrations with their peers and the things that they do themselves regularly enough that don't differ that much from those that they feel very comfortable to complain about. It is understandable to see that some time or another that we all may show a little hypocrisy in our actions but a little may be the result of you not feeling yourself because your having a bad day whereas those whose majority of their conversation consists of complaining about others it is obvious that they are only happy when they are putting someone down. If someone finds it easier to complain about the actions of others than striking up an interesting conversation then maybe they should spare a moment of their time to explore what about their own life isn't worth talking about in a positive light when they are conversing with their peers. There has to be more topics of conversation than what's wrong why not mix it up a little and talk about what's right with the world and see if others will gravitate towards your positivity. What do you have to lose other than your negative aura?.